


Right Thing To Do

by bjfic_archivist



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Canon, Drama, Episode Related, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Points of View
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-02-13
Updated: 2005-02-13
Packaged: 2018-12-27 14:16:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12082764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bjfic_archivist/pseuds/bjfic_archivist
Summary: After episode 220  Brian sits in the loft -and reacts.





	Right Thing To Do

**Author's Note:**

> Note from IrishCaelan, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Brian_Justin_Fanfiction_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2017. I posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bjfic/profile).

I sit here in the confines of my home, alone with a bottle of Beam, hugging it like a long lost friend. The surface is cold, and putting a slight distance between us I watch the liquid slowly drip down the inside of the smooth glass bottle where the sudden movement splashed it.

I left the party at Babylon early, almost right after Justin did. 

I’m amazed that I could hold up the facade as long as I did. I didn’t manage to get it up properly after I’d revealed myself, after I’d took off that mask, and still he had left.

No use, Kinney, it was no use. Shows you that regrets have fuckall impact. Why were you regretting letting him see you fuck ‘Rage’, anyway? 

It was your God damned decision to do it in the first place!

_Idiot._

You knew he’d choose Ethan after that. You knew it.

But that was the general idea wasn’t it? Yeah...

Fuck, you look pathetic sitting there, miserable, gulping down booze, talking to _yourself!_

I jump up from the stairs I’m sitting on and flung the glass bottle to the near wall. The crash and the flying shards give me no satisfaction.

I pick up a sharp piece of glass where it landed right in front of me. The rectangular shape fascinates me and I turn it around in my fingers, watching it reflect the pale light from the windows, painting my arms with light streaks.

I trail the tip of the shard along a particularly luminous path from my palm across my wrist.

I flinch at the sudden sting and follow the red liquid with my eyes as it pools on the surface. Dropping my hand down and flexing it, I see the blood make beautiful patterns on my skin. I change hands and break the skin on my other wrist as well, curious to see if the liquid will act the same way.

I smile as it drips down to my palm, then making a turn and a wonderful curve towards my middle finger.

I sit back down on the stairs when the room starts to sway. I furrow my brows but then continue to watch the play of the red liquid on my skin, stopping to add an additional cut across the original slashes. 

After a while an incredible drowsy satisfaction sets upon me. I lower my hands to my lap and closing my eyes I lean back against the wall behind me as small dark spots appear in my field of vision.

I don’t understand why there are tears streaming down my cheeks when I finally did the right thing for Justin.

And the right thing for _me_.


End file.
